you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
