On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
The air was thick with penises
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
