bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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