dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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