I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
