I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
