Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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