I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
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After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
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I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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