Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
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Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
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I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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