3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
