P.S. I can't hear my feet
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
