Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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