Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
