everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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