So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
