can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
