Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize