I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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