so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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