Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
