I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
