Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
