I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
