we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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