"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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