So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
