i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
