Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Boobs are out for the taking
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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