Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
