whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
