You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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