I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
