Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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