Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
