You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
