we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
