The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
