So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
