So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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