I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize