? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
