Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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