I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
