I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
