dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
should my penis look like a turkey
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Randomize
