WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
