The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
operation harelip BJ is a go
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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