I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
