If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
what is it with giant penises always finding me
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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