Do you still have your period?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
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