I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize