I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
