would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
