apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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